1. Plaster of Paris

    Paris Hilton got covered in white powder, and no, she wasn’t partying with Kate Moss. Instead, the famous-for-being-famous socialite was walking next to fashionista Julien Macdonald, whose fur-heavy designs aroused the ire of PETA. So they pelted him with flour, hoping he’d “rise to the occasion.” Dude, you got antique‘d.

  2. Elle in a handbasket

    Take a ream of recycled paper, cover it with toxic ink, fill it with a panoply of chemically scented advertisements, print up hundreds of thousands, and what do you get? That’s right: green! At least that’s what Elle would have you think. (Oh, and … sssshhh … Vanity Fair too, where you may soon see a certain eco-stud of our personal acquaintance …)

  3. Back that ask up

    Radiohead’s Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood have signed on to headline Friends of the Earth’s “Big Ask Live” concert in May, benefiting the group’s campaign for climate-change awareness. FOE emphasizes that it’s the Big Ask campaign — with a K. Though we’d sign on to either campaign, really.

    Photo: FOE.

  4. Starting a new day, with Woody

    Our youthful bike tour of the Pacific Coast’s finest herbs and beaches got us nothing but a sunburn and some short-term memory loss. If we’d been a fading celeb famous for playing an affable moron, our “Simple Organic Living tour” could’ve yielded a documentary and a book. Woody indeed.

  5. Remember, kids, wear a condiment

    Frequent do-gooder Sting and his frequently Botoxed wife Trudie Styler have launched the Il Palagio range of organic olive oil and honeys, made from ingredients grown on their Tuscan estate — and ten percent of profits will go to eco-causes. Perfect for use in high-end Tantric sex kitchens!