Here in sunny Seattle, we live in terror that one or all of the following might happen at any moment: 1) A volcanic collapse; 2) an earthquake; 3) an organized, large-scale uprising of orca whales. No! The third one is a joke. But really: Why do people keep moving here?

Because Seattle is apparently run by sociopaths, the state Department of Transportation created a truly alarming earthquake simulation video to haunt everyone’s nightmares. No! That is a joke. It was meant as a helpful tool to explain why we’ve undertaken possibly the most inefficient urban infrastructure project of all time.

Here it is, in all its horrific glory:

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Now, time to decide: Which is scarier, this portrayal of a Thing That Will Almost Certainly Happen But We Just Don’t Know When, or the trailer for fictional movie San Andreas Fault starring Dwayne Johnson, fka The Rock?


If you enjoy abject fear, you can watch all of San Andreas in theaters on May 29. Or you could just come to Seattle and stand near the Alaskan Way Viaduct every day, awaiting its spectacular collapse. Up to you!