With Earth Day fast approaching, we’re pleased to bring you the First Ever List of Grist Superlatives. It’s our modest take on the year past, and a few predictions for things to come. Miffed about what we missed? You’re welcome to make additions in Gristmill.


Soaking up the Sundance.

Photo: Eric Neitzel/ WireImage.com.

Most improbable movie star: Al Gore

Scariest preview of coming attractions: Katrina

Species most likely to go extinct within the year: climate skeptic

Mega-corporation we love to hate … or is it hate to love? (tie): General Electric; “Beyond” Petroleum

Most hackneyed phrase: “Green is the new black”

Political fight most reminiscent of Groundhog Day: Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Biggest crybaby: Ted Stevens

Place we’d most like to see Grist‘s name: Chris Martin’s left hand

And the angels sing.

Photo: iStockphoto.

Press announcement most likely to be accompanied by music of angelic choir: Evangelical Climate Initiative

Greenest Kennedy of 2006: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Most hyped weed: switchgrass

Second-most hyped weed: hemp

Most likely to attempt to smoke own product: Willie Nelson

Most likely to attempt to blow smoke up your ass: Richard Pombo

Most popular environmental oxymoron: “clean coal”

Second most popular: “safe, clean nuclear power”

Summer time.

Photo: Emily Gertz.

Cutest tiny new car: Obvio!

Cutest tiny new car likely to be embraced by the American public: Yeah, right

Hottest eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes

OK, only eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes

Ex-big-oil executive most likely to show up with a bikini-clad girl on a chain and a grudge against Han Solo: Lee Raymond

Best new book on climate change: Field Notes From a Catastrophe

Other best new book on climate change: The Weather Makers

We are the walrus.

Photo: NOAA Photo Library.

Global-warming critter crisis most likely to make us sob (tie): starving polar bear; drowning baby walrus

Best green website (besides ours, of course): Treechanging … uh, we mean Worldhugger

Global-warming activist who pops up more often than Zelig: Laurie David

Stinkiest eco-innovation: San Francisco’s poop power

Kinkiest eco-innovation: phthalate-free sex toys

Sneakiest way for big ag to make a buck: corn-based ethanol

Angstiest question for green community: Are we dead?

Second-angstiest: Is it OK to say good things about Wal-Mart?

Floatie happens.

Photo: POOP.

Least photogenic eco-celeb: Mr. Floatie

Smartest fine-we’ll-do-it-ourselves political move (tie): U.S. Mayors Climate Protection Agreement; Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative

Most Scientology-esque acceptance of sci-fi writer as source of scientific truth: George W. Bush’s tête-á-tête with Michael Crichton

Best and worst marketing idea: Make-your-own Chevy Tahoe commercial

Government leader whose big talk on climate is most likely to be muffled by Bush’s bum affixed to his lips: Tony Blair

Most overlooked source of energy: efficiency

Web petition most likely to actually amount to something: stopglobalwarming.org

Hottest self-defeating anti-Kyoto argument: It costs too much, and doesn’t do enough

Hottest fake Kyoto: Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate

Least significant environmental decision you will ever make, so for the love of god stop worrying about it: paper vs. plastic

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Photo: iStockphoto.

State most likely to secede: California

Hottest seller of 2010: hybrid minivan

Green celeb we kind of miss seeing around: Ed Begley Jr.

Story we feel most guilty for being bored by: ice, somewhere, melting

Best eco-themed folk music album:

Least impressive way to demonstrate your eco-consciousness: buying stuff

Most likely to stock up on bottled water and beef jerky if oil surges past $80 a barrel: James Howard Kunstler

Term most likely to wear out the scare-quote key on our keyboards: “eco-terrorism”

Daily Grist headline we still chuckle about: Cattle Star Redactica

Law least able to protect itself: Endangered Species Act

Foaming at the mouth.

Photo: iStockphoto.

Most depressing acquisition of 2006: Colgate’s purchase of Tom’s of Maine

Worst way to deal with climate change: nuclear energy

Easiest way to create appearance of eco-benignity: green tags

Democratic senator most likely to stab enviros in the back: Daniel Inouye

Country most likely to be oil-free first: Sweden

Most likely to be last: don’t make us say it

Most over-used tool in environmentalist toolbox: fear

Tool still in bag with price tag on it: hope

Best car of 2006: your bike

Grist‘s favorite source of angry letters to the editor: vegans

Mustachiest geo-green: Thomas Friedman

Second mustachiest: Roscoe Bartlett

Best place to look for ways to reduce ecological impact: mirror

Add your own superlatives to the list in Gristmill.